So here I am, it’s saturday morning. I was at a wedding last night so I’m pretty hung over. Nevertheless, I still woke up early this morning to try and score some tickets to the Noel Gallagher acoustic show that is taking place at the Danforth Music Hall on November 7th. The show is going to be unbelievable - Noel and GEM of Oasis will be playing an acoustic set, in support of their new greatest hits album, Stop the Clocks. Preceeding the show is an exclusive viewing of the band’s brand new documentarty, “Lord Don’t Slow Me Down”. Clearly, this show was meant for Oasis fanatics, such as myself.

9:59 am: I’m setup on the ticketmaster page, just waiting for the clock to turn 10:00 so I can hit refresh.

10:00 am: I hit refresh, place an order for two tickets, type in the word for that captcha security, and 2 tickets are presented to me. Row FF - 6th row! Fucking eh! Things are looking great.

10:00:40 am: I then type in my ticketmaster login, confirm my address, choose which method I’d like to recieve my tickets, and finalize the order.

10:01 am: “Error. We’re sorry, we’re unable to process your request. Please contact customer service.”

10:01:01 am: My heart rate is in overdrive. I’m smashing my mouse and keyboard. I’m dropping every expletive I know (I even invent a few new ones). This exact same thing happened to me for radiohead tickets a few months ago, but that time I was able to hit the back button and the tickets reappeared. This time I had no such luck. I GOT FUCKED.

10:01:02 am: I try everything possible to make those tickets appear again. I’m hitting the back button, checking my order history, looking for new seats. Call customer service - busy. Nothing. I GOT FUCKED.

The moral of the story is that Ticketmaster is a bunch of cocks, and their website is an even bigger piece of fucking shit.

FUCK. COCK. BALLS.

Did I mention that ticketmaster is weak??