Sup fugazors? I know it’s been a long time since I last wrapped at ya, but it’s been a crazy holiday. After accepting a new job, handing in my two weeks notice, and then spending some time down at my rents’ house for christmas, there’s been a lot of celebrating going on and my liver has taken a beating. On Christmas Eve I actually thought I was going to die because I was so hungover, but a few shots of Pepto and a nap or two later and I was completely cured. BEST HANGOVER CURE EVER. That is how I saved Christmas!

I got back to my apartment two days ago and been meaning to post on fugaze (my parents don’t have an internet connection) but when I went to go turn on my iMac it was DEAD. It wasn’t even getting any power. So after a few days of rage and fucking around with it I found a way to get it to work (plug it in, unplug it, then turn on the power. Who knew??) I also managed to lose my cell phone twice over the break, so if I didn’t return anyone’s calls my apologies.

So now that everything is settling down we’ll finally have some time to give out those fugaze of the year awards. Stay tuned! (this time I’m not fucking around).

Oh, one last thing. Over the holidays the fugaze office got a new mascot. He’s a baby black cat named Felice (pronounced “Feleech-eh”) - that’s WOP for Felix. He’s a total dude cat too - watches tv and shit with you. I’ll post some pictures of him doing dude shit soon (Kristi won’t let me put a dart in his mouth though).

Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Happy Chanuka. Kwazy Kwanza. The Shitter’s Full.

 ’The A&E channel maintains that viewers will barely notice the deletions of nudity, graphic violence, and foul language when repeats of The Sopranos begin airing on the channel beginning Jan. 10. Tom Moody, A&E’s vice president of program planning told the Philadelphia Inquirer that the series “is so well written and so well acted … it overcomes any of those little obstacles.”

For an idea of what those ‘little obstacles’ will look like, check out the link.

Stugots!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2LTuJdaBQg

We came.

We saw.

We train wrecked.

I’m pretty sure Fergie has more skeletons in her closet than Michael Jackson. Formerly of the shitty chick band, Wild Orchid, whose break up caused her crystal meth addiction. But way before all of this she was a cast member on Kid’s Incorporated. it looks like even then she knew she was destined for weakness……and to grow a penis…..

Everyone knows that Nickelback is weak - that’s not news to anyone (except Nickelback). However, if science and Law & Order has taught me anything it’s that everything must be proven before it can be fact. Luckily there is a crack team of internet haters out there that are working day and night to do just that.

So here you go, two shitty tunes played side by side. Essentially it’s Nickelback ripping off their own formulaic trite. I’m sure if you had 5.1 surround sound you could have 5 of their songs playing and it would create the brown sound (the sound that makes you shit your pants)
Link

< !– google_ad_section_start–>So it’s Friday afternoon, and just like everyone else, this is my designated day to screw the pooch. I usually just scan the internet for hours pretending like I’m doing something important. But I always run into the same problem - I keep going back to the same sites over and over again, sometimes several times a day. High on my list are boingboing.net, digg.com, wired news, stereogum.com, and several others that I’d rather not disclose (for the sake of humiliation).
So I need your help. Where do you like to slam the shitzuh? By that I mean, what websites do you like to visit?< !– google_ad_section_end–>

This is incredible. It’s trailblazers like this that paved the way for white guys like Eminem to make it in the “rap game”. Also keep in mind that in the 80s making a video like this would have taken hours upon hours to make. Props, brother.

if you can’t see the video above, click here.

This is the kind of garbage that pisses me off. It’s shit, it has no substance whatsoever, AND the entire song she is singing about how hot she is! FUCK YOU!

I can see why people think you’re hot, if you’re into that transsexual look. Personally, I prefer woman that don’t have cocks or piss their pants on stage. That’s just me though.

By the way, this song is called “Fergalicious”. Prepare to get angry.

Okay, I’m going to need to some lamps, agricultural grade fertilizer, a few BC clones, and a Hewlitt Packard.

A few days ago police in Poland arrested a 17 year old kid who ran a mini-farm of cannabis inside his PC. The PC was normally used but modded to contain a light source, and keep humidity and temperature at proper levels.

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“Style. Sophistication. Elegance.Where can we find that old school cool in our consumer culture and instantly disposable celebrity? Time to meet Patrizio Buanne. Tall, dark and handsone, perfectly groomed and impeccably dressed, the clean-cut italian with the rich baritone voice is an enigma.”

Now I truly know what it’s like when doves cry.

Not only do Patrizio and I share the same name, but we also share many of the same personal traits - tall, dark, handsome, enigma; these are all words that I’ve used to desribe myself. The only difference is that this guy probably has a bigger collection of armani suits than i do.

If you haven’t heard his album yet, Patrizio: the Italian, I urge you to pick it up. Some of the finer tracks on this album are his deep cuts like, On an Evening in Roma, and my personal fave, Home to Mamma.

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